Busy....Busier......BUSIEST

This is how I look when I look at my calendar...

Thanks to Julia Hess for conveying the same emotion.

"Busy" has always been part of my vocabulary - I thrive on busy-ness and, lets be honest, I'd rather be busy than bored.

I thought my life was busy prior to this year...hahahaha silly me.

Recently, the busy-meter has gone through the roof. Lets break it down: 16 credits of school, 25 hours a week of clinicals, 20 hours a week of work, and Relief Society President to the most unusual and challenging ward I've ever been in pretty much shatters the busy-meter into a bijillion pieces.

Dating? psh...when do I have time for that?

So if you don't see me for a year, don't be hurt about it.... I'm trying to learn how to breathe again.

Being a perfectionist sucks.

I don't have many rough days, but when I do, they hit me hard.

This afternoon/evening I went into clinicals to do a few extra hours. I didn't want to go in the first place but, I went with the assurance that I'd be out of there in 4 hours. There were just a handful of techs there plus me - the one student. Ever since a few weeks ago, I've pushed myself to start doing exams on my own - I've seen enough chest x-rays that I figure, its about time I do some on my own. Doing exams on my own has given me some confidence but also shown my weaknesses as a student.

There is a lot that goes on when taking an x-ray. Most people, (and nurses and Doctors) think that all you do is place the film behind the patient, point and shoot. Simple. Well, newsflash, its not. Why else do you think I'm in school for 2 years? There are a lot of factors that go into taking a good x-ray. Good being the key word here.

Back to my night tonight. So everyone in Orem/Provo decided to head to the E.R. tonight. It was madness. We got 6-7 exams at one time to go do and not enough people to do them. Being a student, I'm only comfortable with a few exams: (chest, foot, hand, Lumbar spine, forearm, elbow...). However, you throw me into a high-stress environment with the supervisor tech scrutinizing your every move, and impatient parents watching you do the exam, and those exams I'm confident in,suddenly become my nightmare...

I did some stupid stuff tonight - and just mentally wasn't there tonight. I looked incompetent. I felt incompetent. I wanted to quit.

As soon as another wave of E.R. patients started flooding the department, I bailed. I couldn't handle it. Techs started yelling at each other calling them out on their laziness and I just didn't want to be there any longer. Its nights like these that really make or break you. And its nights like these that I realize I gotta hit the books harder and get my head out of my butt (sorry) and pay attention to what I'm doing.

I realized tonight how hard on myself I am. I'm a first-year student. FIRST. Its ok if I struggle with exams, or if I take my time on my exams, I just need to ease up on myself.

When I first job-shadowed for the program a year ago, I remember saying, "I'll be great at this cause I'm a perfectionist and thats what you need to be in this job". Thats true, but I'm TOO much of one. I sit there and compare myself to the graduating seniors and I think to myself, wow, I suck. But its nights like tonight where I have to re-evaluate and remember I'm still learning. I need to stop comparing myself to the other members in my class and worry about how they are doing. That helps no one. Toughen up Lauren. Ease up on yourself and get your head on straight.

I'm gonna go wallow my self-pity in some frozen yogurt now and then get back on the horse, so they say. You do the same. :)

Post-It Notes

When I saw this picture, I died. It's perfect.

I have this mild obsession with Post-It notes. They are my sanity in this busy life of mine. I have them all over my room. Literally. Some say "to do or die..." or "tithing" or "Food" ...all things to remind me what not to forget or things that I need to accomplish that day. I love them. I even have one in the fridge that simply says "Freezer" to remind me to get my lunch out of the freezer when I decide to be lazy and have a microwave meal for lunch at clinicals. Don't judge - ok?

I've managed to almost go through one of those 5 different colored stacks in a year - should they last longer than that, I dunno?

Who knew little 3x3 sticky pieces of paper could be such great time management helpers?

I did.

Fijian Shower

This morning, not by my own choosing, I had a Fijian shower. The roommates took all the hot water and I was left with the ice cold stream of water to do the job. As I was trying to catch my breath the whole time during the ordeal, I was reminded back to Fiji where I did this every, single day. I was tough for 2 1/2 months.... I'm not so tough anymore. Raise your hand if you love hot water!

The only thing missing from this Fijian shower was absolutely no water pressure, a moldy, smelly towel, wearing flip-flops to avoid getting a disease, a weird unknown mold creepin' up the walls, and outrageous humidity levels discouraging the fact that you just took a shower. I'm grateful to be back in the good ol' USA and even after 6 months of being home, I'm still constantly reminded of that.

Now, if I can just return the favor to my roommates....

Here's a video of the sweet house I lived in while in Fiji. I point out the bathroom and shower for you to get a glimpse of what I mean.

I Caved!

First off - welcome to my new blog L.A. Times! I pride myself on the fact my initials are the same as a major city - booyah. But then again, I share the initials with Lance Armstrong and Louis Armstrong so... I'm not THAT original ok?

I've been debating for a while now about getting a blog. Some people say blogs are a way for people to just vent or brag about their lives...haha so here I am! No, but seriously, I had a blog while I was in Fiji and I really liked being able to post my random thoughts and experiences on there and I thought I'd join the crowd. Why not? Just one more thing to waste time on, right?

Secondly, you probably think my blog design is depressing. Well, if you know me at all, you know I'm not depressed and that I simply LOVE the rain. This blog design suits me. I love the darkness of cloudy, rainy days - it puts me in a super good mood, unlike most people around here that shake their fist at the sky for producing the wet weather. So enjoy the grey tones and raindrops on my page. :)