Lost for words

A few nights ago I went on a date that takes the #1 spot on my history of weird dates. The date wasn't weird in what we did, it was weird in what was said.

Every girl has expectations going into a date. I sure as heck did with this one and I knew beforehand it was gonna be a hum-dinger. Haha - lets just say I was looking forward to the stories afterwards.

The Contact:

This all started when a few weeks ago I was asked out by this guy I've never seen before in our ward. Keep in mind my ward merged with the 30 and overs in our ward. So this guy was at LEAST 31. I'd never said a word to this guy and he pulls me out of Relief Society and tells me he doesn't want to have to wait another week to ask me out. I was flattered cause most guys aren't that forward when it comes to asking us out. We made the small talk - he asked if I was in school - I told him I was an x-ray student. Without dropping a beat, he says, "Do you like scars?".

How is that relevant to x-rays?

He then proceeds to pull up his pant leg exposing a scar on his ankle - he then tells me about how he broke his leg, yadda yadda yadda. This was the first of many awkward moments to come.

When he said he graduated from BYU, I asked when - normal question, right? He said, really quickly, "Well, how long are you gonna date me for?" Again, where's the relevance??

The Date:

He picks me up and we drive to a restaurant and have dinner. Normal.

One of the first things I notice about this guy is the vibe he's puttin' off. He kinda had that "I'm God's gift to women" vibe.........Next!

The second thing that is strange is his lack of focus. In the middle of asking me what "clinicals" are, and as I'm breathing in to answer the question, he grabs a newspaper next to him in the lobby of the restaurant and starts reading it. I release the held in air I had as I was about to form my sentence in answer to his question and just stare at him in total confusion. Did he really not have the time to pay attention to what I had to say? I slowly started to proceed with my answer when he put the paper down and gave me the slightest attention.

Moving on...

We get seated and get a large helping of Edamame brought out as our appetizer (were at a sushi place...). He starts DOWNING these things like they're candy. He's eating them with such force and gumption that the little edamame's are trying so hard to escape his wide open trap that they're flying out of his mouth and onto the table and floor. Really? Nice table manners, dude.

We order our food and our sweet little Asian waiter is trying to be so helpful and accommodating and this date of mine just gives short, cross responses to him. I felt awful. Lets be nice to our waiters, shall we? Especially when they speak broken english and bow to you at every request given.

Our food gets brought out - well his first which he immediately starts picking at shoving things off his plate, saying, "Ew, I don't want that", or "what IS that?", "Their salads are gross". REALLY!? Why'd you'd order it then?

I got my food and as I'm eating it, he reaches across with his chopsticks and grabs some food off my plate. Sure, he's paying for it, but is it so hard to ask if he can partake first? Apparently so.

During dinner the conversation was very strange. He asked such random questions with no relevance to the previous one asked. For example, I was talking about school and he then asks, "Whats the longest your hair has ever been?"... huh?

The topic of dating gets brought up by him. Surprised? At this point, I certainly am not. He asks what I look for first in guys. This is awkward... I say, height, face, then shoes cause I think they tell a lot about a person. I decided to ask him cause I knew this response would be outrageous. It was. He said, "butt, teeth, hair"............................... No girl wants to know you asked her out solely cause she had a nice butt. I don't even have a butt, ok? But seriously, just lie to the girl and say you look at her eyes, her feet, her legs, the weird mole on her face, just not her butt. ESPECIALLY not on a first date. He then goes on to top the cake with this, "yeah, I'm not really a boobs guy, I'm all about the butt". I seriously didn't have anything to say at this point - how could I? I just awkwardly laughed, it was all I could do.

He asks if I'd ever go out with anyone shorter than me. I said ya, I'd give them a chance. Then he expounds (I wish he hadn't) and he says, "What if he was 5'8", filthy rich and a cougar in the sack?".........

CHECK PLEASE!

I responded, "...and how would I know that?" totally shocked that he just. said. that.

I had a feeling going into this date that I would walk away offended.

He said he pictured me as a girl from Nebraska. really? The middle of no-where state that you know NO one from? You pictured me from there? His answer: "Yeah, you're just like a corn-fed white girl."

These responses just look so much better in writing than they do when spoken. Hahaha

We got talking music and when I told him I was a singer he said he would be the idiot on American Idol that can't sing. He then said, "Remember William Hung?" and at the top of his voice, in an Asian restaurant filled with Asians, said in an Asian voice "I've had no fo-mal twaining, SHE-BANG SHE-BANG!". I was mor-ti-fied.

Where was this guy's social cues?!

Dinner is now over - hallelujah - and we get up to go pay at the front counter. I waited for him to take the lead over there, but no, he said, "Ladies first". I knew what he was really wanting. Ugh.

We pay at the counter and he tells, and shows me, the amount of the bill. You're one class act mister.

As we pulled up to my apartment and started walking up to the stairs, I made sure I was a step behind and to the side of him....haha. He's slowly, walking to the stairway and I'm wondering if he's going to walk me to my door. As we approach the curb, he asks me to go stand on the curb. Oh no. He comes up to me and stands in front of me and says, "Would you have gone out with me if I was this short?" as I'm looking over his bald head. All I can do at this point is laugh after having suffered through this night. Then, he just goes to give me a hug and his face is practically in my chest, I hunch down awkwardly to give him a hug where his face isn't planted in my bosom.

I hurried and ran up the stairs just in case he was watching my backside up the stairs.

I walked, no..ran away from that date feeling all the more normal about myself and grateful for the social cues and etiquette I possess. And hey, it can only go up from here........right?

Busy....Busier......BUSIEST

This is how I look when I look at my calendar...

Thanks to Julia Hess for conveying the same emotion.

"Busy" has always been part of my vocabulary - I thrive on busy-ness and, lets be honest, I'd rather be busy than bored.

I thought my life was busy prior to this year...hahahaha silly me.

Recently, the busy-meter has gone through the roof. Lets break it down: 16 credits of school, 25 hours a week of clinicals, 20 hours a week of work, and Relief Society President to the most unusual and challenging ward I've ever been in pretty much shatters the busy-meter into a bijillion pieces.

Dating? psh...when do I have time for that?

So if you don't see me for a year, don't be hurt about it.... I'm trying to learn how to breathe again.

Being a perfectionist sucks.

I don't have many rough days, but when I do, they hit me hard.

This afternoon/evening I went into clinicals to do a few extra hours. I didn't want to go in the first place but, I went with the assurance that I'd be out of there in 4 hours. There were just a handful of techs there plus me - the one student. Ever since a few weeks ago, I've pushed myself to start doing exams on my own - I've seen enough chest x-rays that I figure, its about time I do some on my own. Doing exams on my own has given me some confidence but also shown my weaknesses as a student.

There is a lot that goes on when taking an x-ray. Most people, (and nurses and Doctors) think that all you do is place the film behind the patient, point and shoot. Simple. Well, newsflash, its not. Why else do you think I'm in school for 2 years? There are a lot of factors that go into taking a good x-ray. Good being the key word here.

Back to my night tonight. So everyone in Orem/Provo decided to head to the E.R. tonight. It was madness. We got 6-7 exams at one time to go do and not enough people to do them. Being a student, I'm only comfortable with a few exams: (chest, foot, hand, Lumbar spine, forearm, elbow...). However, you throw me into a high-stress environment with the supervisor tech scrutinizing your every move, and impatient parents watching you do the exam, and those exams I'm confident in,suddenly become my nightmare...

I did some stupid stuff tonight - and just mentally wasn't there tonight. I looked incompetent. I felt incompetent. I wanted to quit.

As soon as another wave of E.R. patients started flooding the department, I bailed. I couldn't handle it. Techs started yelling at each other calling them out on their laziness and I just didn't want to be there any longer. Its nights like these that really make or break you. And its nights like these that I realize I gotta hit the books harder and get my head out of my butt (sorry) and pay attention to what I'm doing.

I realized tonight how hard on myself I am. I'm a first-year student. FIRST. Its ok if I struggle with exams, or if I take my time on my exams, I just need to ease up on myself.

When I first job-shadowed for the program a year ago, I remember saying, "I'll be great at this cause I'm a perfectionist and thats what you need to be in this job". Thats true, but I'm TOO much of one. I sit there and compare myself to the graduating seniors and I think to myself, wow, I suck. But its nights like tonight where I have to re-evaluate and remember I'm still learning. I need to stop comparing myself to the other members in my class and worry about how they are doing. That helps no one. Toughen up Lauren. Ease up on yourself and get your head on straight.

I'm gonna go wallow my self-pity in some frozen yogurt now and then get back on the horse, so they say. You do the same. :)

Post-It Notes

When I saw this picture, I died. It's perfect.

I have this mild obsession with Post-It notes. They are my sanity in this busy life of mine. I have them all over my room. Literally. Some say "to do or die..." or "tithing" or "Food" ...all things to remind me what not to forget or things that I need to accomplish that day. I love them. I even have one in the fridge that simply says "Freezer" to remind me to get my lunch out of the freezer when I decide to be lazy and have a microwave meal for lunch at clinicals. Don't judge - ok?

I've managed to almost go through one of those 5 different colored stacks in a year - should they last longer than that, I dunno?

Who knew little 3x3 sticky pieces of paper could be such great time management helpers?

I did.

Fijian Shower

This morning, not by my own choosing, I had a Fijian shower. The roommates took all the hot water and I was left with the ice cold stream of water to do the job. As I was trying to catch my breath the whole time during the ordeal, I was reminded back to Fiji where I did this every, single day. I was tough for 2 1/2 months.... I'm not so tough anymore. Raise your hand if you love hot water!

The only thing missing from this Fijian shower was absolutely no water pressure, a moldy, smelly towel, wearing flip-flops to avoid getting a disease, a weird unknown mold creepin' up the walls, and outrageous humidity levels discouraging the fact that you just took a shower. I'm grateful to be back in the good ol' USA and even after 6 months of being home, I'm still constantly reminded of that.

Now, if I can just return the favor to my roommates....

Here's a video of the sweet house I lived in while in Fiji. I point out the bathroom and shower for you to get a glimpse of what I mean.

I Caved!

First off - welcome to my new blog L.A. Times! I pride myself on the fact my initials are the same as a major city - booyah. But then again, I share the initials with Lance Armstrong and Louis Armstrong so... I'm not THAT original ok?

I've been debating for a while now about getting a blog. Some people say blogs are a way for people to just vent or brag about their lives...haha so here I am! No, but seriously, I had a blog while I was in Fiji and I really liked being able to post my random thoughts and experiences on there and I thought I'd join the crowd. Why not? Just one more thing to waste time on, right?

Secondly, you probably think my blog design is depressing. Well, if you know me at all, you know I'm not depressed and that I simply LOVE the rain. This blog design suits me. I love the darkness of cloudy, rainy days - it puts me in a super good mood, unlike most people around here that shake their fist at the sky for producing the wet weather. So enjoy the grey tones and raindrops on my page. :)